Wordy Wednesday: Dumbledore

As you know if you've been keeping up with my posts and/or tweets, I have been reading the famous Harry Potter series. I'm only on book two, which is going a lot slower than book one for some reason, but I'm enjoying them quite a lot. I took three quizzes, including the one on Pottermore, and I turned out to be a Hufflepuff in all of them. So I'm basically a "super Hufflepuff" as one of my friends said. I think it's accurate! 

Anyway, back to the quote. I found this picture on the internet, don't know who the source is, but if it belongs to you please tell me and I will credit you or take it down and switch it with something else if you wish. I was just too busy this week to draw up my own as I have the past two weeks. 

I absolutely love this quote. Albums Dumbledore says a lot of meaningful quotes in the series (most popular is the "turn on the light" one), but I'd never seen this one before. It's probably my favorite of his now that I have.

I wrote a poem for a scholarship competition last week that is along the lines of this quote. Instead of saying words are magic, I said that words were like a superpower. With superpowers and magic, you always have someone that uses their powers the wrong way. That's where we get villains and Voldemort. With words, it's where we get bullies. It's amazing how often people use their words to hurt people instead of help them. In Harry Potter, I have more hatred for the Dursleys and Draco than I do for the main villains, because I just can't stand bullies. I can't wrap my head around the concept of disliking someone so much that you absolutely have to be mean to them. There are people in my life that I don't particularly like to be around, but I try not to express that towards them. Put yourself in their shoes.

I think I'll just share my poem because that's basically what I have to say about this subject.

Words have so much power.

The power to heal,

To inspire, 

To attract,

To amuse,

To teach, 

To excite,

To change a life for the better.

But they also have the power to hurt,

To embarrass,

To scare,

To damage,

To weaken,

To abuse,

To change a life for the worse,

Or even end it...

How can people allow their words

To rip into someone's chest

And break their heart and tear them down,

When they could just as well be using their words

To fix a heart,

Or to build someone up?

How can 26 simple letters

Arrange into such conflicting sentences?

"I hate you" can turn into

"I love you"

Just by changing 3 letters.

So why, when you feel like expressing hate,

Don't you change 3 little letters

And express love instead? 

Use the power of your words

For good, not evil.

Fight off the devil on your shoulder 

And use your words

To heal,

Inspire, 

Attract, 

Amuse,

Teach,

Excite,

And lift people up.

I love words. I love using them to inspire people and make people laugh. I love books and music and plays. I love when words give me chills down my spine and butterflies in my tummy. 

But I also hate words when they're used to hurt someone in the many ways I mentioned in my poem. Bullying and the misuse of words will always be a mystery to me. 

Five Things I Learned in High School

School starts one week from today for many kids in my area. I don't start college for 3 more weeks. But I figured, since it's almost time for high school to start back up, I might as well educate some people with what I learned in high school, and what a lot of you should learn too. And I don't mean things like "mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" or "in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue." I mean more important things. Also some advice for freshman and sophomores with a few more years to go.

1. Join a club or a group of some sort. In my sophomore year, I was part of the choir. However, I never felt a great connection to the other kids in choir and didn't have a whole lot of pride about it. The next year, I joined tech and drama. Now, I'm not here to tell everyone to join drama, because it's not for everyone, but being part of the theatre program was a HUGE thing for me. In fact, most of the things on this list are things I learned from being involved with theatre. Joining a group or a club not only gives you something fun to do, but it also gives you a huge sense of school spirit. I know when I was a sophomore, my thoughts were "yeah, okay, I go to this school, big deal." But when I was competing with theatre and being part of the best dadgum theatre program in the whole state of Alabama, I was so proud of all of us. Sports will obviously do that too. Having school spirit and being part of something special makes those four years a lot more fun. It also can introduce you to people you never expected to befriend and hobbies you never thought you'd enjoy. 

2. No one actually cares what you look like. I remember when I was too self-conscious to go to school without makeup on. I have dark circles under my eyes and I almost always had breakouts that I felt the need to cover up. If I went to school without hiding these things, I would feel self-conscious about it all day. But I learned that no one really cares. Everyone else is worried about what they look like themselves. We're all teenagers going through the same general problems. We all have acne, most of us don't get enough sleep, and you don't need to be paranoid all day because you have a zit on your nose that you didn't manage to cover up with makeup because you woke up late. Sure, some people will notice it, but if they're decent human beings, they probably won't say anything about it. And if they do, just say "Yeah, I know, I have two eyes and know how to use a mirror" and go on with your day! But don't ever do the same to them. That's just fighting fire with fire, and while bonfires are fun, they're not so fun when they set the yard aflame and hurt people. Don't be afraid to go out without makeup on. Stand up straight, put on a smile and be confident. Makeup is fun, but it shouldn't become an essential like brushing your teeth. 

3. Make new friends! Whenever I had a class without any of my friends, my mom would say "Well you can make some new friends!" and I never listened to her because I kind of dislike humans in general and I'm an introvert and I'm kind of shy. And while it is hard to make new friends, it's not impossible. Even if you don't become BFF's, it's great to have at least one person in your class that you can contact if you miss anything or have questions about homework. And if the power goes out and you happen to be stuck in that class for two hours, you'd at least want someone to talk to (yes this happened before and it was awful because I knew no one and the teacher was making terrorist jokes). I remember on graduation day when everyone was being nice to each other and acting like friends even if they'd never spoken before. The cliques had dispersed and we were all one big class of 2014. I feel like that's how it should have been throughout all four years. Don't avoid making friends with someone who isn't in your clique. It's kind of like eating. Say you have a plate with different foods on it; you have your meat, your veggies, and some fruit, but none of them touch because you're picky. After you eat it all, it all ends up in the same place. So you're the high school, and the food is all the students. We all end up in the same place, so we shouldn't be afraid to mix and mingle and put ranch on our pizza and honey in our yogurt. 

4. Always respect your teachers. Always. Always always always. Even if they're being mean because they're having a bad day. Especially then. Teachers work for hours putting up with misbehaving students, grading, the students being too loud or not paying attention, and tons of other things, only to be payed not NEARLY as much as they deserve. They are educating the future of our country, of our world, and some of them have to keep a second job to pay for their expenses. And then some kids think that they can just blabber all day and talk back and be absolutely awful to their teachers. To people who disrespect teachers: You suck. You stress me out. Check your privilege. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you react to a kid younger than you back talking you when you tell them to do something? The teacher didn't GIVE you that grade, you EARNED that grade depending on how hard you worked for it, so don't complain. This topic makes me angry. Basically, respect your teachers and don't give them a hard time, because someday you might need just one more person to write down as a referral for a job application, and they won't let you write down their name because of that one time.

5. Learn. Learn what you love. Learn what you hate. Learn about yourself. Never stop trying to learn more. You may be in a math class, absolutely hating the subject, but you can learn more than just math in a math class, more than just vocabulary in an English class, and more than just the order of the presidents in a history class. You can learn what you get excited about and what you dread, and how you handle stress and how to organize things. Learn what you love and apply that to every other class you're required to take. I read in a psychology magazine once that happy people enjoy their jobs more because, even if they're not working in the field they love, they've discovered how to apply their passion to their everyday job. 

To the seniors: One more year. You're almost there. And yes, it really does fly by. Once prom shows up, you'll be wondering when the heck that happened because it felt like just yesterday was homecoming. And please do go to prom. Even if you don't have a date, even if you can't dance, grab your best friend and dance like idiots. Dont worry about what other people think. Don't you dare sit in the corner and watch. You'll regret it. Really take in the whole year. Remember your lasts and treasure them. Take lots of pictures. And as much as everyone wants to, avoid talking or thinking about college as much as possible. Don't sit at the lunch table and talk about college. Live for right now, for today. Tomorrow will come soon enough. 

Felt the need to post this. First day of freshman year next to Graduation day. You can just see how much confidence I gained by how big my smile is and how un-slouched my shoulders are. Oh yeah, and the many inches of hair gone. 

Photoshoot Day

So I woke up at 5 this morning to go on a wild adventure with some hooligans. First we went to a big, lovely, bug-infested field. 

Me

Katie (also our many footprints)

Mia

Michaela, who was behind the camera for every shot that she wasn't in. I took the pictures of her.

Then we took a drive downtown...

We all loved Michaela's "Pirate" outfit and her modified "Captain Morgan" pose. 

And I just can't resist posting this one as well:

My "Singing in the Rain" pose! 

These haven't been edited yet, but I will probably do that tomorrow and post them on Facebook. We all had a lot of fun taking pictures and being extremely goofy. This picture basically captured the essence of the whole day:

Katie and I were being "goofy goobers" while Mia was being a serious natural model. 

A Wicked Birthday

My 18th birthday was back in April, but I feel like it's still worth writing about.

Ever since 7th grade when we had to sing "Popular" in choir, I've been in love with the musical "Wicked." I'd never seen it or even learned the whole story line, but I knew a lot of the songs by heart and dreamed of seeing it live someday. I refused to watch whatever might have been illegally posted on YouTube because I wanted to see it all for the first time when the time came. 

A month or so before my birthday, I was planning what I wanted to do for it. I didn't want a party, and I didn't want any really special presents, so I thought I'd have a little movie night and bonfire with my best friends. I told my mom about it and she seemed fine wih it. Either the next day or later that day, my parents came into my room and mom asked if I'd like to go see Wicked for my birthday. I immediately burst into tears of happiness. My mom had found out a few days before that the touring group would be performing in Nashville two days before my birthday- on Easter Sunday to be exact. I don't think any of us really cared that it was on Easter, because we were going to see WICKED!!! 

I had my mini party with my friends the Saturday before my birthday, and then mom, dad, Tessa and I got in the car to drive to Nashville the next morning. We all wore a bit of green and black to discreetly fit with the theme. A lady was dressed up as a witch a couple rows in front of us... 

The only things I really knew about the musical were the songs and the setting and the characters. I was able to avoid major spoilers all 5 years I was obsessed with it. As soon as I heard the music start, and saw the awesome monkeys open the curtains, I almost started to cry from happiness again. I was ACTUALLY there, watching the musical I've been dying to see since middle school. I never imagined I'd be seeing it so soon. 

The set was awesome, the performers were amazing, and I really freaking loved the monkeys. They seriously knew how to get into character, it was almost hard to believe that they weren't actually big monkeys. 

Every time I had listened to Defying Gravity between finding out I was going to see it, and the ride there, I couldn't help but tear up. When I heard the first few notes in the theatre, I had to try SO hard to hold back my tears, because I wanted to see it! And it was amazing and beautiful and spectacular, everything I thought it would be and more. I found this picture on the internet that captures the moment perfectly:

It was so so wonderful. And when all those blue lights went out at the end, you could still see Elphaba's face for a few seconds, which I thought was pretty cool. 

Wow it was great. And I tried not to cry after that scene because it was intermission and the house lights came on and I didn't want people to see me cry, but I did anyway because WOW EMOTIONS! Even thinking about it right now makes me want to cry again. It's all so strong in my memory. 

One of the things I was worried about was how the singing would sound. I was so used to listening to Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenowith on the original soundtrack, and I was scared that the singers wouldn't be as good. But oh my goodness they were. I had a bad experience once with Cats where my favorite song was butchered by one of the singers.... But it wasn't a professional cast, so what can you do... Wicked was amazing though, in absolutely every way possible. 

Before the show, we stopped at a Subway behind the theatre for lunch. When we came out, we saw the set truck! It made me so so happy and even more excited.

And when we got into the theatre, we saw the dragon and the curtain and my dad and I wondered if the dragon would move or breathe fire.

I snuck this picture before the show started. Turns out the dragon's name is Oswald (found that on the internet, they don't refer to him specifically in the show) and he does move a bit and smoke comes out of his nose. And they used projection really awesomely throughout the show. They projected flying monkeys on Oswald's wings at one point, and the glowing green in the center of the map is a really cool projection too. My iPod couldn't get a very good picture of it though. 

So that's my story of seeing Wicked for my birthday. My parents are absolutely awesome for making that happen, and I hope I can go back and see it more times, and maybe someday tech it, which would be so great!!

Harry Potter

I know a lot of people read this series when they were younger, but I was never a big reader. I finally started reading the first book the other day and I'm already enjoying it quite a lot. I just wish I hadn't already seen all of the movies so I could imagine some of the characters on my own. The way Filch is written so far, I see him a lot differently than I see movie Filch. Same with Professor McGonagall. But that's okay! 

As you can see, I'm missing the 7th book in the series. I'll go out and find that when I get there. Obviously, I have a long way to go. These actually used to belong to my mom's friend, and we've had them for a really long time because Tessa wanted to read them, so I guess she doesn't want them back...

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I made that little sparkly wand. When Tessa was going through her Harry Potter obsessed phase, we would find sticks and carve them to make them look like wands and paint them and glitter them. I've always really liked my wand. Now it has a proper place on my bookshelf! 

I'm really excited to finally be reading this series. I might post about my progress along the way. I promise I'll avoid spoilers, in case anyone else is reading them and hasn't actually seen the movies. 

Side note: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Dear Body Shamers

I am 18 years old, over 6 feet tall, and I weigh a little over 140 pounds. I have always been skinny. I used to eat a diet consisting mostly of sugary, fatty, junk food. No matter how much junk I eat or how lazy I am, I never gain weight. I just have a really fast metabolism. Recently I have started taking walks, but not for my appearance, just because they wake me up and make me feel good. I love my body just the way it is, and the only thing I want to change about it is making it stronger and healthier. 

Most of the time, you see people bullying women who appear overweight. That's bad enough as it is. If someone is confident about herself, leave her alone! Some people are just the opposite of me and can't lose weight. She may actually be really healthy, but just has meat on her bones. You don't know someone's story. 

I saw something the other day that boiled my blood and kind of shocked me. There was a picture of a lovely woman with curves, and a comment that wasn't so lovely. 

"I would rather look at a woman with curves than a stick figure."

It makes me sick just typing it. I'm amazed that someone would actually say something so rude and hurtful. There are many things I would like to say to people like this, but most importantly, who cares what YOU want to look at? You can look at curvy women all day, but don't you DARE grimace when you see someone like me. The only thing you're doing when you post a comment like that is potentially hurting millions of women who are skinny because God made them that way, or because they try really hard for it. There are hundreds of ways to tell someone you think they are attractive without being rude to others. 

I am NOT a stick figure. I am a HUMAN BEING. I have a heart and a brain and feelings. God made me this way. Who are YOU to judge His masterpieces? Who are you to judge someone who works so hard to look the way they do? Who are you to judge at all? Yes, the curvy woman who carries herself with confidence is beautiful, but so is the skinny woman who carries herself just as confidently. We do not lose or gain or maintain our weight for anyone but ourselves. We do not care to impress you, but we do care when you call us "twigs" or "stick figures," because how could someone possibly be so ignorant? There's obviously a HUGE difference, and it's not that hard to tell us apart from drawings.

Human Being:

Stick figure:

(yes my hip bones are huge and awesome)

I hope I've educated a few people today who didn't know the difference between a doodle and a person. And I hope I never happen to read such an ignorant, ridiculous comment like that again.

Wordy Wednedsay: A Life Worth Writing About

I've always loved writing. When I was little, I wrote short stories all the time. I have a couple binders full of them. I wanted to be a writer. My stories were imaginative and kind of silly, full of talking animals, magic trees, fairies and pegasuses and lots of wild adventures. 

When I got a little older, say 4th through 6th grade, I thought being a journalist for a newspaper or something was more reasonable. I was on the newspaper club at my school and wrote a lot of articles for it. I realized around that time that I didn't particularly enjoy writing about current events. I wanted adventures.

In middle school, I didn't think much about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was in art club, drew a lot, and loved all of my English classes. Freshman Composition was my favorite (9th graders were at the middle school at this time), partially because I love the teacher. I had her for two other English classes during my time in middle school.

High school is where everyone starts thinking about college and what they really want to do with their lives. My thought process went a little like this:

"Maybe I'll just be a teacher. I have to do something with my life. It wouldn't be that bad... Teaching?? Lydia, you hate kids of all ages! What are you thinking? Okay, maybe I'll be a graphic designer. I'm kinda good at art... I've lost all my artistic ability somehow, so maybe I'll just major in music and play piano all the time... No no no no, I don't even know how to read sheet music properly, I just play by ear 80% of the time. *joins drama* DRAMA???!!!?!? DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA THEATRE ACTING TECH TECH TECH TECH TECH I WANT TO DO THIS FOREVER I LOVE THIS GIVE ME ALL THE THEATRE FOREVER!!!!!! .....chill, Lydia. You can't major in theatre. That's not a very smart idea. BUT I LOVE IT!!! No, do something smart. You can do theatre on the side... I hate school. Maybe I'll just stop after high school and go be a professional model. Everyone says I'd be a good model anyway... You idiot, you know you hate the thought of being a model. Sure it'll get you a pretty nice paycheck, but have you seen how clumsy you are when you walk? And have you seen the crazy things they put models in? C'mon, you can handle 4 more years of school, you're smarter than you think... Okay, maybe I'll major in technical theatre. That's not as risky as acting. And I have so much fun being a techie... Hmm forensics class is fun. Maybe I'll do something with that... Nahh... Psych? Psychology seems cool. I have psychological issues and maybe in the future I can help people with theirs! *takes psych class* Nahh... *edits a paper for a friend* *edits a paper for a girl I babysit* *edits everything anyone ever says or writes or types* .....You know what? I should be an editor. It's always come naturally to me. And with a job like that, I could easily do theatre on the side every now and then. I could even write a book at some point! I've always wanted to be a writer! Yep! That's what I'm going to do. Wow I'm so happy I've finally figured it out!!!"

And I've been happy with that decision ever since. 

But in relation to the quote, I've always wanted to go on the adventures that my brain thinks up. I want to write about adventures, but I want to write about the adventures that I've experienced first-hand. Maybe there are some stories in my memory worth writing about, and maybe someday I will write them. But for now, I think my "What the heck am I going to do with my life?" story is worth writing about. And it's funny that I've come full circle. I think all the way back to my childhood days of writing, and now here I am, going to start college to major in English and edit and write. Little me would be so proud. In the next few years, I hope to create even more memories worth writing about, and maybe even make up some more mini adventures. 

Wisdom Teeth

A few months ago, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I was lucky and only had the top two. I always thought everyone had four wisdom teeth, but that's not true! I only had two, some people have five, and one of my friends doesn't have any. I remember how awesome it was to fall asleep and wake up feeling like I'd been asleep for only a couple minutes. They rolled me out in a wheel chair and I got in my mom's car to go home. I wasn't loopy or anything, just extremely tired. 

This morning, Tessa got her wisdom teeth out, and from what I could tell when she first got home, she's still her usual self. She's currently in her room watching Harry Potter with her eyes closed. She had all four, and she's quite chipmunk-cheeked. My swelling didn't even really appear until the second day, and it wasn't much. 

I hated being on that soft food diet. Luckily I love mashed potatoes, but I was craving steak! It only took me a couple days to start eating solid foods, mostly because I really wanted them. 

The worst part about the healing process for me was the dissolvable stitches. Mine dissolved in about a week or two and at different times, but those were some awful stitches. They didn't hurt, they were just really annoying and would tickle my tongue and I wanted to cut them out. I had a little bit of pain in my cheeks whenever I smiled for a few weeks, which wasn't fun considering how many times I smile and laugh in a day. 

Hopefully Tessa has a super smooth recovery and doesn't have issues with her stitches. 

Side note: when one of my friends got his wisdom teeth out, he was so loopy that he sat on top of something and when his mom told him to get down, he said "I'm an eagle!!" 

Frankenmuth, Michigan

A few weeks ago my whole family went up to Michigan to visit our relatives for a week. Many past trips to MI have been stressful, to say the least, but this trip was so much better. For many years my mom has been wanting to take my sister and I to a town called Frankenmuth. It has a huge Christmas store that's open all year, which was the main attraction at first. When we got into Michigan late at night, my dad drove us through Frankenmuth. Even though it was dark, it was beautiful and really cool looking and I couldn't wait to see it during the day. We drove past Bronner's Christmas Store and I couldn't believe my eyes. They had all these lights and displays that seemed to go on for at least a mile. My sister was just confused. I was freaking out and couldn't stop smiling! 

A couple days later, we actually went to Frankenmuth for the day with my Aunt. We spent pretty much the whole time in a little village called River Place, where we shopped and ate crepes for lunch. I got some nice pictures of the buildings too.

This one is my favorite. I took it while walking and it somehow came out perfectly.

It looked like a little village you might see in Disney World. It was kind of German, even though the crepe restaurant was very French. In the second picture, you can see the yellow building on the right with the chef, ninja turtle, and cupcake things. That's a bakery called Sugar High that won a season of Cupcake Wars. We went in and I got to try macarons for the first time! 

The chocolate one wasn't very good, but I loved the lemon one.

Chocolate covered bacon is a thing here.

Tessa as a ninja turtle and mom as a chef.

We went into some really cool stores and then decided to go to dinner. We had dinner at a restaurant outside of River Place called the Brewery. It used to be just a brewery, but they made it into a restaurant, and they actually give tours of the place and you can go in the brewing room which is separated from the restaurant by a big window, so you can see the big vats and stuff. We sat pretty close to it, so that was cool. They made really good mac and cheese.

When we came out of the restaurant, this awesome car was parked next to ours:

I love old cars!

After dinner, we went to Bronner's. I took a lot of pictures there, but I'll post my favorites.

I loved this toy store display.

Really cool old piano and organ! The organ was originally sold for about $30 in 1902. 

I ended up getting this ornament.

They had multiple clocks like this and so many things with lots of different languages. I took pictures of everything that had multiple translations, even a trash can. This sign says "Welcome" in 57 languages! 

The store is huge and my mom, sister and I only saw 2 out of 10 sections of it. Tessa and I were pretty amazed by all of the ornaments. I also really loved the old pianos and cash register. I love old things like that.

When we were done at Bronner's, we were all tired and in pain and ready to get in the car and eat our fancy flavored popcorn from River Place. It was such a great day and really made the trip 10 times more fun. I hope to go back some day and explore more of the town.

Random Wreath Making

Last night I spent a really long time at my boyfriend's house with him and all of his friends because they wanted to watch a League of Legends tournament. I'd sat through one of them before, so I figured this time I could crochet while they watched their game and listen to their goofiness and eat pizza. But what I didn't expect was having craft time with my boyfriend's mom during the last part of the tournament. She came downstairs and asked me if I was interested in making something with her, and I said sure! Anything would be more entertaining than a bunch of video game stuff that I don't understand.

So I went upstairs with her and she showed me these big bins full of all kinds of ribbon and two wreath frames. The plan was to wrap the wreaths in ribbon and make them look pretty. I'd never made a wreath before, but there's a first time for everything! We were going to glue on the ribbon with a hot glue gun, but then she had the (less messy) idea of holding the ribbons on with little pins (I kind of hate glue, so this made me happy). It actually turned out really well for both of us! The wreath she made was red and gold, and she said she'd add more to it when Christmas comes around and she gets inspired by something. I went with a New Year's theme.

I realized that it could also be used for a graduation party. 

Obviously I couldn't do a step-by-step with this, but I'm sure you could find some on Pinterest! What we did was we wrapped the base color ribbon (in my case, gold) all around the frame. Then we chose another smaller ribbon to wrap on top of the base (blue). What I did for my little bow was a little odd, but I'll explain anyway. I tied a blue ribbon around the wreath with the knot in the front. Then I cut a piece of blue ribbon and a piece of gold ribbon the same length and slid them under the blue knot and tied them on top of it. At this point I just had a big knot with some pretty ribbons hanging down. I was running out of gold, so I found an extra piece that was kind of wrinkled at the ends and slid it under the knots and tied it like a bow. I cut off the ends as close to the knot as I could so it just looks like the bow is connected to the gold ribbons hanging down. I cut triangles out of the ends of the ribbons to make them look fancy. Then I stuck pins through the knots just in case, and voila! 

The way I have it, I could stick little decorations on it depending on the occasion. But I'm really happy with how it turned out! It probably took about an hour or so, maybe less. I might start making more...

When I came back downstairs, I discovered that I'd missed the beginning of a pool tournament.

So they wouldn't let me play until their little brother decided he was done and had me fill in for him. I won the first round I played and just barely lost the second. All of us have kind of become obsessed with this game. 

After the pool tournament, they started to play this "scary" video game called Outlast, and none of them really wanted to keep playing, but they wouldn't stop because they're weirdos. I had to be the one to suggest a game of Ninja to finally end it. You're welcome. 

That was a fun night, and I really enjoyed making a wreath! 

Anxiety and Dermatillomania

This topic is not as light-hearted as my other posts have been, but I promise I'm not going to dwell on this in future posts. I just feel like it's something I should talk about here at least once because it's a huge part of my life.

For my whole life I have been struggling with an anxiety disorder. The therapist I went to last year told me it was Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), but I'm not completely sure that's exactly what it is after really researching it. I do have anxiety attacks sometimes, and I even had one before a presentation my last week of school where I was supposed to talk about my disorder (I chose my topic, we were doing PSAs about things that were important to us). It's not something I really hide from people anymore, because what's the point of hiding when you know you might need help sometimes? All of my best friends and family know about it, and my entire twelfth grade English class....

It's not just the anxiety that I deal with. For many years I have had a disorder caused by my anxiety called Dermatillomania. It's also known as Skin Picking Disorder and another new name that I don't remember. Basically I pick at my skin when I get really anxious. It's my body's way of releasing my anxiety. I'm not going to explain it in depth, but if you want to know more I'm sure you can find more about it on the internet. 

I stopped picking on June 5th of this year, which was amazing and wonderful and almost miraculous. I have had a couple moments when I've picked again, but I haven't fallen back into the pattern of doing it every night. So I'm in a really good place right now with that and it's pretty exciting. 

I also learned recently about Body Focused Repetative Behavior (BFRB) awareness, and since skin picking is a BFRB, I made my own little BFRB awareness bracelet with the colors:

Although I've been able to control my picking, controlling anxiety is a lot harder. One night when I was having a lot of anxiety, I cried like a baby, which I guess is my body's new way of releasing the anxiety without picking. I've started going on daily walks around the block every morning and really watching what I eat. Excercise is known to help with anxiety, and sugary foods can cause anxiety attacks. I've also been drinking lots of water, so that's helping make my skin look better. Water just makes you feel good too. When I was sick for 4 days recently, I drank so much water, and I guess I realized how great water is and it kind of became a habit. So I am learning more about my anxiety and how to calm it and how to prevent it. 

As for the scars from picking, I have this really awesome lotion and body wash called Renew from Melaleuca, and it really clears it up quickly and makes your skin amazingly soft. 

So that's the condensed story about my anxiety and Dermatillomania. I'll probably post something a little more upbeat and fun later today to make up for this slightly dramatic topic. 

The Power of Pinterest

Pinterest is probably one of the best things to ever happen to social media. I read somewhere recently that Twitter and Facebook are "look at ME!" sites, while Pinterest is a "look at THIS!" site. I love it because it's so organized and you don't have to search too hard to find exactly what you're looking for. "Pinterest is my Google." 

Since I started blogging, I made a board on Pinterest specifically for everything I find related to blogging. There are so many helpful things on this site for blogging beginners! 

I think the most popular thing about Pinterest is the wide variety of DIY tutorials you can find. Even just some suggestions that give creative minds a starting place for crafts and interior design and gifts and makeup and nails... I could go on forever. Here are some of my Pinterest-Inspired accomplishments:

My weekly calendar made from a frame (super cheap at Walmart!). Tessa had fun with it...

I came across a painting of a tutu, which inspired me to paint Tessa's costume from her first competition dance on a little canvas. I plan to paint each competition costume for the next two years.

The icicle lights I had around my room died, so I took them down. I hated how empty that little piece of wall above my closet looked, so I printed out a bunch of Instagram pictures and hung them up with yarn and clothes pins.

I covered a cork board and reupholstered my desk chair with some cheap fabric I found at Walmart. Both are holding up nicely!

There have been more, but some are gifts that have not been given yet... 

While Pinterest is awesome and fun and helpful and inspiring, it's also addicting! I tell myself all the time that I should be DOING the things I'm repinning instead of sitting here repinning more! And obviously I do force myself away from my iPad to make these things every now and then, but there are a lot more crafts in my DIY board that I haven't done yet! 

There are also so many helpful links for college students that I've discovered since my friends and I are headed in that direction. Ways to save money, alternative sites for buying and renting cheaper books (which I realized last night are ridiculously expensive- there is no valid reason for them to cost that much!), and multiple links to lists of what to pack for people living on campus. 

If you find any of this appealing, you should make a Pinterest account and follow me as well. Another cool thing about Pinterest is that you can follow specific boards a person makes, so if you don't care to see me repinning hand lettered stuff all the time, you can unfollow that board! And if you just want to see what I pin in my DIY board, that's all you have to follow. 

Happy Pinning! 

Wordy Wednesday: "Normal"

The other night I was laying in bed blogging in my brain. My awesome friend Mollie (artsylamentations.blogspot.com) made a "Music Monday" post this week, and it inspired me to do a weekly thing as well. Here is the first installment of Wordy Wednesdays! Wednesday is always my busiest day of the week, and it will be even busier when I start college since it's the only day I have 3 classes instead of 2, plus dinner with my friends. But there's always time for writing, right?

Quote of the week:

"Normal" is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

I found this quote on Pinterest (of course) and decided to illustrate it a little with my fancy new markers. It was said by Morticia Addams in the Addams Family, which I've never seen, but I would certainly like to at some point. 

I love this quote, and any quote about being "normal" or "weird" because my whole life I've sort of embraced my weirdness. My best friend and I always say "Weird is short for awesome," and it's really true. What could be more awesome than being so confident that you're not afraid to be labelled as "weird"? When you don't care what random people think of you, life is so much easier and better. Besides, what even is "normal"? 

The quote says it is an illusion, which basically means normal doesn't exist. Everyone is so unique and different that we all have our own definition of normal. Well, technically the definition is always the same.

Normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

There are things that are just universally normal. Like having skin and wearing clothes. But when something "weird" or "unusual" happens to you every day, you grow accustomed to it and it becomes normal for you.
For example, my dad has two motorcycles. One day I brought a friend to my house and we went in through the garage where one of the bikes was parked. My friend was pretty impressed, and it dawned on me that not everyone has a couple of motorcycles sitting in their garage. I walk past them every day. I used to have to walk around them to get to the refrigerator. To me, those motorcycles are normal, even though to most other people they're not.
During my time in high school, I was not "popular," even though my mom likes to believe I was. There's that specific category of "popular" people, you know, the girls with really long hair that either wear dresses and heels or leggings and chacos depending on the day, and have huge friend groups and go to those mythical high school parties (which I'm sure exist, but I've never seen one in real life). And there's absolutely nothing wrong with being one of those girls, I just never was one. My friends are all geeks, and I love them. Although I wasn't surrounded by "popular" people, I did manage to befriend a few of them. When you become friends with people who seem so cookie-cutter perfect and "normal," you realize that they're really not. They have that "weird" side to them, they just hide it really well in public. So even though they seem like they fit into this "normal" standard and all, they still have their own little quirks and oddities. Everyone does.
No one is perfect, no one is normal, and everyone is freaking weird and we all should learn to embrace our weirdness and just be ourselves! Life is so much easier when you're not focused on trying to be normal or to look a certain way or to say the right things or fit in with the right group of people. And if you still really want to be "normal," think about this:
Everyone is weird. That means being weird is usual, typical, and (should be) expected. Therefore, weird is normal. And awesome. And everyone wants to be awesome. So don't be afraid of what people might think or say, chances are they're too busy worrying about themselves anyway. Be your own weird self.
Take a drama class, everyone there is weird in the best way possible.

 

Basket Renovation

As I said in my little descriptions and "About Me," I like to make stuff and paint. Recently my mom gave me a basket to fix up so we could possibly sell it.

Obviously my sister and I got a hold of it as children and made it sooooo pretty. Well now it was my job to make it look prettier. There were a couple bottles of brown paint with the basket, so I used the darkest one. I started on the inside because I knew that would be difficult to get to, and I was right. I wished I had a tiny brush that would fit in the basket so I could get in the little corners. This is how it looked once I got the inside painted: 

There was also a bunch of purple paint in there which I didn't get in the "before" pictures. The paint covered it up surprisingly well. I had to add an extra coat in a couple spots, but other than that it was fairly covered. Painting the outside was a lot easier.

Wow bad photo. But this is what it looked like completely covered with the "burnt umber" paint. I've never liked that color name. What even is umber?

This is when I got to start having fun. I painted little designs on the rim of the basket with white paint. Then I used an old brush pen to outline them and make the lines smoother. The reason I used a brush pen and not a sharpie is because my experience with sharpies on paint has not been positive. Plus sharpies tend to look weird and shiny and almost tinted blue. If you ever want to use pen on top of paint, be sure the paint is completely dry! I've lost a lot of pens because of my impatience. That's why I used an old brush pen, just in case I got a little excited. I used a Faber-Castell PITT brush pen. These are very nice pens, and they are permanent like sharpies, but don't leave that weird sharpie look. I recently got a new set of these pens, so I used one from the set I've had for a couple years. And I didn't mess it up, either! Here's what my designs looked like before and after outlining:

I was very happy with how they looked after I outlined them. The before and after pictures are at the top. So much better! I almost don't want to sell it.

The whole painting process took about 4 hours or so, with one break for lunch. I don't like waiting to finish things... I hope I've inspired someone to update something sitting around in your house! You really need no artistic talent to do it, just paint, brushes, a good pen, and a steady hand. And it doesn't have to be perfect; imperfections are what make things unique!