Anxiety and Dermatillomania

This topic is not as light-hearted as my other posts have been, but I promise I'm not going to dwell on this in future posts. I just feel like it's something I should talk about here at least once because it's a huge part of my life.

For my whole life I have been struggling with an anxiety disorder. The therapist I went to last year told me it was Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), but I'm not completely sure that's exactly what it is after really researching it. I do have anxiety attacks sometimes, and I even had one before a presentation my last week of school where I was supposed to talk about my disorder (I chose my topic, we were doing PSAs about things that were important to us). It's not something I really hide from people anymore, because what's the point of hiding when you know you might need help sometimes? All of my best friends and family know about it, and my entire twelfth grade English class....

It's not just the anxiety that I deal with. For many years I have had a disorder caused by my anxiety called Dermatillomania. It's also known as Skin Picking Disorder and another new name that I don't remember. Basically I pick at my skin when I get really anxious. It's my body's way of releasing my anxiety. I'm not going to explain it in depth, but if you want to know more I'm sure you can find more about it on the internet. 

I stopped picking on June 5th of this year, which was amazing and wonderful and almost miraculous. I have had a couple moments when I've picked again, but I haven't fallen back into the pattern of doing it every night. So I'm in a really good place right now with that and it's pretty exciting. 

I also learned recently about Body Focused Repetative Behavior (BFRB) awareness, and since skin picking is a BFRB, I made my own little BFRB awareness bracelet with the colors:

Although I've been able to control my picking, controlling anxiety is a lot harder. One night when I was having a lot of anxiety, I cried like a baby, which I guess is my body's new way of releasing the anxiety without picking. I've started going on daily walks around the block every morning and really watching what I eat. Excercise is known to help with anxiety, and sugary foods can cause anxiety attacks. I've also been drinking lots of water, so that's helping make my skin look better. Water just makes you feel good too. When I was sick for 4 days recently, I drank so much water, and I guess I realized how great water is and it kind of became a habit. So I am learning more about my anxiety and how to calm it and how to prevent it. 

As for the scars from picking, I have this really awesome lotion and body wash called Renew from Melaleuca, and it really clears it up quickly and makes your skin amazingly soft. 

So that's the condensed story about my anxiety and Dermatillomania. I'll probably post something a little more upbeat and fun later today to make up for this slightly dramatic topic.