Wordy Wednesday: I'm Emotional

I was debating on not doing a Wordy Wednesday post today because this week is being kind of mean to me, but I figured I'd do it anyway. The bad part is, it's going to be sappy. So, I apologize for that.

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

I really didn't think I would get so emotional about this, but I've cried about 6 times in the past 3 days because it's hitting me really hard that Michaela is leaving for college on Monday. The last time I see her before she leaves will be Saturday night at her bonfire, and I probably won't see her again until Christmas time. 

I've known Michaela for 5 years. Ever since that day in science class when we were assigned to be lab partners. I knew of Michaela before then because Katie introduced us the year before, so I was happy to have a partner that I had at least spoken to once. As we sat at our lab table and waited for the teacher, Michaela put a tiny marble on the desk between us. When I say tiny, I mean literally the smallest marble I had ever seen. I was very excited about it. That marble broke the awkwardness barrier between us and our friendship instantly began to bloom. 

Soon after we became friends, we both started to take an interest in photography. After a while, however, my interest slowly dulled. Michaela continued to enjoy taking pictures and has improved so much, especially just in the past summer. She's decided to major in photography and some day set up her own business. In order to accomplish that, she's going to college all the way in California. She won scholarships that will pay for her tuition and already has a job as a local photographer's assistant secured. I'm so proud of her for pursuing her dreams, even though it means she'll be so far away from me. 

I'll be sure to blog about dinner and the bonfire and how she likes her gifts. I'm going to miss being her model and going on adventures at the creek. I hope she has a wonderful time in California and enjoys her classes and her school. 

Wordy Wednesday: Silly Power

This week's quote is something I've lived by for the past couple years. 

There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.

Ever since I got into theatre, my perspective has changed a lot. As I'm sure I've said in a previous post, I used to be a lot less confident than I am now. In theatre, you can't be super self conscious. It's impossible to succeed in theatre if you're constantly worried about what other people think of you. There might come a time where you have to put on a giant wig and act like you're still the fairest maiden in the land. There might come a time when you have to dress up like an animal and move the awkward way that the animal does. Theatre is unpredictable, and so is life. You can't be afraid to look silly. 

The picture above is from a photoshoot I did with Michaela a couple months ago. They were playing music and she got so many pictures of me dancing around the field and having fun (I think it's important to note here that I am not a good dancer). I knew she was taking pictures the whole time, but having fun was more important to me than how I looked on camera at that moment. Some of them actually came out looking pretty good.

If you're having fun and you don't care what you look like, chances are you'll look confident. People who don't care that they might look silly have so much confidence. People who dress up as clowns for a living must be pretty darn confident. If you worry too much about what you look like, just remember that the people around you are probably only worrying about how they look. Humans are just like that, especially in a society that tries to tell everyone that they need to look a certain way to be considered beautiful. You know what's really beautiful? Confidence. 

Wordy Wednesday: Unfair

I struggled with finding a quote this week. When I found this, I thought, it's kind of like a more intelligent version of the lemons thing. You know, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? I feel like this quote is saying that the people who make lemonade out of their life-lemons are those who really succeed. 

Everyone goes through rough patches in their life that make them confused, angry, and generally upset. Life isn't fair, or reasonable, or in any way easy. We all face situations where we wonder how the heck we ended up there, and search for a way out. We sometimes want to give up something we love just to make things easier on ourselves, but the truth is, you're just going to run into another sticky situation in the long run. Running from your problems will only give you more problems. 

One way to look at it is to remember that it will pass. You will push your way through the dark tunnel and arrive where there's sunshine and warmth and happiness! But then you'll see another tunnel that you're going to HAVE to go through, but on the other side of that tunnel is even more sunshine. Making it through those tunnels is important, but how will you get through them? Will you tiptoe timidly, carefully, slowly, worried that you'll make a wrong step? Or will you fearlessly skip, dance, maybe even play hopscotch to get to the other end? Dark tunnels are scary and confusing, but hopscotch is fun. It's those that hopscotch through an unfair situation that enjoy life the most. 

Another thing to remember is that not everything that looks like a tunnel really is a tunnel. It might actually turn out to be a beautiful cave lit by fireflies to guide you along as you pass pretty rock formations and stalagmites and stalactites (I really like rocks and caves). And once you get through the cave you think, "That wasn't so bad, can I go through another one of those?" 

So don't step into your tunnels with fear, start out skipping, dancing, or playing hopscotch, and whether it turns out to be a dark tunnel or a firefly-lit cave, you'll emerge triumphantly. 

Basically, approach the unfairness in life with hope and positivity and turn your life-lemons into a sweet lemonade. 

Wordy Wednesday: What They Don't Understand

Yes, here I am again, talking about school. Specifically, math. I've always hated math. I dreaded going to math class and doing math homework. Even the word "math" made me uncomfortable. Okay, the word still makes me uncomfortable. But as of yesterday, I don't think I hate it so much anymore. And this week's quote explains why.

"People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer." 

I was always scared to attempt math because I didn't understand it. I hated it because I always got the wrong answer and I struggled to get it right. I couldn't conquer it. But this time around, I understand it. The professor thoroughly explains everything and I know exactly how she gets from point A to point B. She goes through the example problems in detail and doesn't skip over simple steps because people like me don't always understand why that 3 has suddenly turned into a 1. But now I do understand it! And the moment it clicked in class, my jaw literally dropped and I flopped back into my chair and stared off into space and thought, holy crap, I get it! And it's not just because it's algebra and I've done it before. It's because I've done it before and I'm JUST NOW understanding it after only one lesson. 

I've found this quote to be extremely true, not only regarding my struggles with math, but with plenty of other fears and dislikes I've had. I hate card games because I don't understand them, therefore I can not conquer them. 

Of course, there are a lot of logical fears that stem from bad experiences with certain things. Someone who saw their baby sister fall down a flight of stairs might be scared of stairs for a while (true story). Someone who was bitten by a dog might be scared of dogs. You get the point. So obviously there are cases where people are afraid of things because they understand them TOO well or have been put in a scary situation with them. 

However, historically and politically this quote makes a lot of sense. These concepts also show up a lot in literature and film. 

My main point here is that you should reevaluate the things you hate and fear. Maybe you'll see things from a different light. 

SIDE NOTE: I just want to thank everyone that reads and enjoys my blog. I sincerely appreciate it and it makes me so happy to be told that someone loves reading my random ramblings. Three people in the past week have complimented my blog to me, and it really insipres me to keep it going. When you read my blog posts, I would really appreciate it if you would somehow let me know that you've seen it. Simply clicking the little "like" or "favorite" button wherever you see it posted, or comment on the blog post if you can, just so I can thank you at some point for keeping me inspired to keep writing for you guys. It's not about how many likes, shares, favorites, retweets, repins, etc. that these posts get, it's just about knowing who to thank the most. 

Wordy Wednesday: Think You Can

Hello again! I'm writing this from the very quiet, but extremely cold, reading room in my campus library. I seriously need a pair of gloves.

This week's Wordy Wednesday quote is a quote I've known basically all my life. My mom had it hung up on the refrigerator to motivate us. I feel like it might have had something to do with my hatred of math... 

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." -Henry Ford.

This is the essence of a positive mindset. People who believe in themselves are more likely to succeed, while people who doubt themselves are less likely. I tend to get very negative when I don't do well on new things, but my mindset has changed a lot so far this school year. I know it's only the third day of school, but I'm already feeling like the Little Engine That Could. "I think I can! I think I can!" 

I've talked to a few people who seem more apprehensive about their first semester of college, saying they don't know how they'll remember all their assignments or get them all done. Well, getting a planner will help with remembering, and time management is a beautiful thing (that I still need to work on as well). There are simple remedies to all your worries that you will find if you just think a little more positively. If you think that you can, then you will. However, worrying and thinking that you can't will do nothing good for you. 

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. You're moving, but you're not going anywhere. Your thoughts are running at 100 miles per hour, but you're sitting still, doing nothing productive and not getting nearly as much excercize as that over active brain of yours is. So get out of that rocking chair and step on a treadmill and take a Positive Walk. Instead of sitting there worrying about your first big test in a class, STUDY. Instead of worrying about writing that paper because you hate writing, suck it up and start brainstorming. Your best shot will be better than nothing, and nothing is exactly what's going to happen if you're sitting there thinking you can't. 

Think you can. Even if you know math isn't your best subject, say to yourself "I think I can" and give it your best shot. Even if your best shot doesn't meet your standards, don't give up. Keep trying and staying positive thinking you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help, even if doing so makes you uncomfortable and being tutored makes you cry for some unknown reason (yes, that's me). Go into the tutoring session with a craving for new knowledge, not just for a better grade. 

Okay, I hope this post has been a lot more motivational and inspiring than the last (very unsuccessful) Wordy Wednesday! Tomorrow I'll post about my first week of college. Be prepared for a strange, unconventional first-day story.

Wordy Wednedsay: A Life Worth Writing About

I've always loved writing. When I was little, I wrote short stories all the time. I have a couple binders full of them. I wanted to be a writer. My stories were imaginative and kind of silly, full of talking animals, magic trees, fairies and pegasuses and lots of wild adventures. 

When I got a little older, say 4th through 6th grade, I thought being a journalist for a newspaper or something was more reasonable. I was on the newspaper club at my school and wrote a lot of articles for it. I realized around that time that I didn't particularly enjoy writing about current events. I wanted adventures.

In middle school, I didn't think much about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was in art club, drew a lot, and loved all of my English classes. Freshman Composition was my favorite (9th graders were at the middle school at this time), partially because I love the teacher. I had her for two other English classes during my time in middle school.

High school is where everyone starts thinking about college and what they really want to do with their lives. My thought process went a little like this:

"Maybe I'll just be a teacher. I have to do something with my life. It wouldn't be that bad... Teaching?? Lydia, you hate kids of all ages! What are you thinking? Okay, maybe I'll be a graphic designer. I'm kinda good at art... I've lost all my artistic ability somehow, so maybe I'll just major in music and play piano all the time... No no no no, I don't even know how to read sheet music properly, I just play by ear 80% of the time. *joins drama* DRAMA???!!!?!? DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA THEATRE ACTING TECH TECH TECH TECH TECH I WANT TO DO THIS FOREVER I LOVE THIS GIVE ME ALL THE THEATRE FOREVER!!!!!! .....chill, Lydia. You can't major in theatre. That's not a very smart idea. BUT I LOVE IT!!! No, do something smart. You can do theatre on the side... I hate school. Maybe I'll just stop after high school and go be a professional model. Everyone says I'd be a good model anyway... You idiot, you know you hate the thought of being a model. Sure it'll get you a pretty nice paycheck, but have you seen how clumsy you are when you walk? And have you seen the crazy things they put models in? C'mon, you can handle 4 more years of school, you're smarter than you think... Okay, maybe I'll major in technical theatre. That's not as risky as acting. And I have so much fun being a techie... Hmm forensics class is fun. Maybe I'll do something with that... Nahh... Psych? Psychology seems cool. I have psychological issues and maybe in the future I can help people with theirs! *takes psych class* Nahh... *edits a paper for a friend* *edits a paper for a girl I babysit* *edits everything anyone ever says or writes or types* .....You know what? I should be an editor. It's always come naturally to me. And with a job like that, I could easily do theatre on the side every now and then. I could even write a book at some point! I've always wanted to be a writer! Yep! That's what I'm going to do. Wow I'm so happy I've finally figured it out!!!"

And I've been happy with that decision ever since. 

But in relation to the quote, I've always wanted to go on the adventures that my brain thinks up. I want to write about adventures, but I want to write about the adventures that I've experienced first-hand. Maybe there are some stories in my memory worth writing about, and maybe someday I will write them. But for now, I think my "What the heck am I going to do with my life?" story is worth writing about. And it's funny that I've come full circle. I think all the way back to my childhood days of writing, and now here I am, going to start college to major in English and edit and write. Little me would be so proud. In the next few years, I hope to create even more memories worth writing about, and maybe even make up some more mini adventures.