I am not a Negative Nancy anymore. I did something I should have done at the very beginning of this last week. I looked up some more quotes. Quotes always have a way of making me feel better in bad situations. Obviously the Wordy Wednesday quote didn't do much for me, but I ended up finding three quotes that actually made a difference in my outlook on this whole college thing.
"Fear is stupid. So are regrets." -Marilyn Monroe.
This one helped me because I was so scared. Change has always scared me and given me anxiety. I hate not knowing what to expect. But being afraid of something inevitable is stupid! Change is what gives you new experiences. And I know that if I were to not go to college, I would end up regretting it. And that would be stupid too.
"Every year many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you." -John Green.
I was always certain that I was not a smart person because I'm terrible at math and science. But after seeing my English score on the ACT it finally hit me that I am smart to at least some degree. I'm not smart in math or science, but I'm smart in English and theatre and common sense. I have good intuition, I'm pretty good at reading emotions, and I have a good sense of direction. So I'm not stupid, and I don't want to end up being a waitress or a model, so I will go to college and become an English major and then an editor and maybe a writer. Because if stupid people can do it, I can too.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go." -Doctor Seuss.
I love Doctor Seuss and when I found this quote it made me somewhat emotional. I can steer myself in any direction I choose. I'm the guy who will decide where to go. And getting over my fears and making myself go to college is the first step to getting where I want to go. I don't want to go the easy route and try to be a model, and I've sworn that the only way I'd become a waitress is if I have literally no other choice. I want to have a career that says "I have a brain and I know how to use it." I want to be someone that very well could have gone the easy route, but decided to work through 4 years of college to steer myself in the direction I chose.
I wrote all three of those quotes up on my whiteboard for inspiration yesterday. Last night was the first night that I didn't have a breakdown about it, so I'm very happy about that. This morning I woke up and realized that this is my last weekend of summer, and instead of getting upset, I got excited! I'm actually excited now! I'm excited about being excited!
I went on the campus tour this morning, which was very short because it's one small building, and I learned a lot about the campus and got very excited about the Math Lab (where they help you until you fully understand it!) and this cute little reading room in the library with big windows and plants and comfy chairs. Our tour guide taught us where all of the quietest places are, and what places should be quiet but aren't. She told us not to get the chik-fil-a lunches they sell there because they're expensive and they don't give you much. She led us to the testing room where we might take tests and she told us that we can buy our scantrons in the vending machines! Scantron vending machines? Not something I expected.
I have about two more days until I have my first class. I'm starting with English, which is awesome yet kind of intimidating at the same time. I'm nervous, but I'm not anxious anymore. Nervous is good in my book!
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